It’s no surprise that a child’s taste changes, especially when he or she moves country, but the British porker had long been one of the cornerstones of Maus’ diet. Never a week passed that he didn’t down a couple of sizzling Cumberlands, lean chipolatas or lovely Lorne links. His unambiguous reaction the bangers forced me to do a bit of hard thinking. Was this simply a childish whim, or did the German sausage really have an edge over the British? It was a question I couldn’t answer alone. Growing up in Canada I had been weaned on hot dogs, those additive-filled ‘missiles of death’ served on white buns with sweet green relish and insipid mustard. I love them, which of course totally undermines my credibility as an arbiter of taste in the eyes of true sausage gourmets. So to answer the question I turned to some of Europe’s greatest experts on the matter – the readers of this Meet the Germans blog.
Horst Weber, a devotee of healthy ‘Ökofrühstück mit Obst, Yoghurt und Müsli’, considered my enquiry ‘a world-dividing question. What a weight on my shoulders,’ he wailed from Munich. ‘Only a few days ago I voted for the European parliament, and now it’s sausages.’ Horst lived in Ireland for twenty years and today at home in Germany he breakfasts from time to time on imported Denny’s sausages, bacon and eggs while listening to Van Morrison and Christy Moore. The English sausage has always left him ‘with a secure hope for betterment’. He confessed to his true porcine love with impressive clarity:
1. As long as I may eat 1/2 Dutzend Nürnberger mit Kraut my world is fine.
2. Nothing beats Nürnberger with Kraut.
3. The world would be ‘a worse place without Nürnberger’.
4. It’s every pig’s dream to become a Nürnberger Wurst. Cloud nine.
Will Robertson, a young American regieassistent who has managed to shake off the cultural legacy of the hot dog, is of two minds on the weighty matter of wurst. His life’s most memorable sausage moment was at Oxford’s The Big Bang where he ‘dined cheaply and wonderfully on Lincolnshire pigs, guinea fowl, venison and, once, a full English breakfast in sausage form with mash, jus and suggested ale pairings.’ Yet Will believes that the quality of the average banger is higher in Germany. ‘I haven’t had any truly wonderful homemade sausage evenings here like I did in England, but on the other hand, I’ve never had one of those Sunday-morning, cheap-cafe bangers that tastes like grease and sawdust.’
Will goes on to note that ‘as a pure fast-food choice, Germany wins easily. The currywurst is a glorious thing.’ Mwape Goble, an Englishman who is spending the summer in Berlin, agrees with him. ‘I live very near Curry36, one of the best currywurst places in Berlin. I’ve had many, many portions of wurst there, as well as some great German sausage in Düsseldorf.’ Although Mwape believes that a good Cumberland sausage with full English breakfast is ‘well-nigh unbeatable’, for him a well-cooked bratwurst and bread ‘might just sneak it in favour of Germany’. He adds, ‘By the way, your son Maus has good taste!’
Sebastian Brauer is a twenty-year-old German working as an au pair in the UK. His mouth waters every time he thinks of grilled Thüringer Rostbratwürste. Sebastian admits that English ‘sausages aren’t that bad. They have completely different seasoning, often include apple or other fruit pieces and sometimes too big pieces of fat. German sausages are typical for German barbecues, while English ones are made for bangers and mash. Also I’ve noticed, that every kind of sausage in the Britain is simply called sausage, whilst we Germans have about ten different kinds of sausage. That was quite weird at first, but now I’m used to it.’
So the choice is yours. Pigs in a blanket or Swabian Rote Wurst? Toad in the hole or Bavarian Fränkische Bratwurst? Spleen Milzwurst from Munich or banger biryani from Birmingham? We are what we eat (as illustrator Thilo Rothacker’s wonderful cartoon suggests). As for my son Maus, I’m off now to buy him a grilled Nürnberger for tonight’s supper. But don’t worry. His left-over English bangers won’t go to waste. I’ll eat them … unless I can get my hands on a truly delicious and unsurpassable Canadian Shopsy’s hot dog.
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